“Once,” Civility said, “I was the belle of the Christmas ball. It was the time of year when I shone the brightest. People were polite. They were kind and charitable. They went door to door caroling.

Freddie's Flowers has free next-day delivery on all Christmas flowers for a limited time (you must order by 8pm), and ideally ...

Watch or listen to Sportsound Open All Mics and follow live text updates of Saturday's Scottish football, including four Premiership matches.

Contrary to popular belief, not all cats who find themselves stuck in trees are capable of getting down on their own.